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About Photography / Student Evie ClarkFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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Literature
Suffering in Silence
She smiles and laughs like us.
She dresses like us.
She jokes and chats like us.
She looks normal like us. She blends in perfectly.
But there's pain hidden behind those sharp, green eyes.
She suffers silently behind those high walls she's built. They keep everyone out. Push everyone who cares away. Everyone who can help her.
She hides her true self away. Locks it away deep down inside of herself. Watching the world from behind a glass screen. Behind a fake personality.
No one takes the time to ask if she's ok. No one looks behind her mask of fake happiness. They don't see past her fake smiles, They don't notice how it never reaches her eyes. They don't don't see the torture inside her head. She suffers alone.
Her mind is poisoned with evil emotions. Where others see a beautiful young girl, happy and youthful. She sees imperfections. Her eyes are clouded with self hatred.
She can't see the beauty in herself. She doesn't see the intelligent, kind, loved girl standing in the mirror.
Her m
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Literature
Tired
I'm tired. So tired.
I can't do this anymore.
It's every night. When the lights go out. When there's nothing left to keep me busy. When my thoughts are the only thing to fill the black void of silence.
That's when the torture begins.
They wait until I'm alone. Vulnerable. Weak. When I have nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.
They jeer at me. Belittle me. They tell me I deserve to feel pain. Suffering. That I don't deserve to live.
I've grown so used to it. I've learned to numb myself. Learned to put my defenses up. Keep them out.
But I haven't slept in so long. My walls are weakening. They're starting to escape through the cracks. Starting to claw away at my sanity. Tear down my confidence. Rip away my happiness. Slink into my thoughts. Poisoning my mind with self hatred, doubt, fear, shame, paranoia, anxiety.
I can't hear my voice anymore. They're shouting too loud. I'm losing myself. Sinking into a dark pit. Buried by their poisonous words. Trapped. Shut away from the world.
I try to sh
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Literature
Doubt
I don't remember the last time I laughed. I've faked it for so long I don't know how.
Even when I'm out with my friends. Doing things a teenager should do. I'm not truly happy. I should be. Any normal person would.
I have the best friends. They're funny, weird, crazy and most of all they're supportive, they care.
I should be happy. But there's something in the back of my mind. Something that's stopping me.
A voice. Only a quiet whisper. But a whisper is enough to let the doubt creep in.
It tells me I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve friends like these.
They're out of my league. I'll never be good enough for them.
I tell myself I'm being stupid. That I shouldn't listen to it. I shouldn't let it get to me.
I try to push it away. Keep it out of my mind. Pretend I'm fine.
But once that doubt is planted. Once it's slithered it's way into my head. I can't stop it growing into fear. Anxiety.
The constant worry that I'm not really wanted. I'm not part of the grou
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Literature
The Mask
I'm not okay.
I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I have a constant cloud over my head. I feel so disconnected. Like I'm not really there.
I cry and cry for no reason. And when I run out of tears and can't cry anymore I feel numb. Blank. Like I'm empty.
And then there's the voice. Not my voice. Something else.
It's been there for years. Whispering to me at night. Taunting me. Telling me I'm a loser. Worthless. Unwanted. That I'll never be good enough. That I don't deserve love. I don't deserve to live.
I try to ignore it. Push it to the side. Blank it out of my mind.
But it's shouting louder and louder. It won't leave me alone. Won't be ignored.
It hurts my head. I shout and scream to try and block it out. I claw at my skull to try and get it out. I tell myself it'll leave me alone if I wait long enough. And sometimes it does. I curl up in the corner with my head in my hands waiting. Willing it to go away.
But sometimes it seems easier to give in.
It shuts up if I do what it w
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Activity


I found this through Livy-the-Unicorn's status update and I think this is so important. Please sign the petition and share! 

www.change.org/p/titan-s-light…
She smiles and laughs like us.
She dresses like us.
She jokes and chats like us.
She looks normal like us. She blends in perfectly.
But there's pain hidden behind those sharp, green eyes.
She suffers silently behind those high walls she's built. They keep everyone out. Push everyone who cares away. Everyone who can help her.
She hides her true self away. Locks it away deep down inside of herself. Watching the world from behind a glass screen. Behind a fake personality.
No one takes the time to ask if she's ok. No one looks behind her mask of fake happiness. They don't see past her fake smiles, They don't notice how it never reaches her eyes. They don't don't see the torture inside her head. She suffers alone.
Her mind is poisoned with evil emotions. Where others see a beautiful young girl, happy and youthful. She sees imperfections. Her eyes are clouded with self hatred.
She can't see the beauty in herself. She doesn't see the intelligent, kind, loved girl standing in the mirror.
Her mind is filled with so much doubt that she can't see the people around her, The people that love her. That care about her. She's built her walls so high she can't climb over anymore. She's imprisoned in her own mind. She can't reach for help.
She's so used to wearing her mask she can't take it off. No one can help her if they can't see her pain. No one can see her slipping away. See it taking over. See her spiraling out of control.
No one can see through her facade until it's too late. Until she fades away.
Suffering in Silence
So this happened again. Today was really depressing and I needed to get this out.
Let me know what you think. Feel free to leave constructive criticism.
DO NOT REPOST UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!
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Happy New Year!
2017 is finally over, thank the lord.
Last year was one of the darkest times I've ever had and there was a lot of loss for me but it's over now. I can move on and I'm looking forward at 2018 in a positive light.
I'm not one for new years resolutions but I do want to do a lot more photography. I want to go out on long country walks and get inspired. I want to post more and be a lot more active on this account. I also want to work on self improvement and feeling proud of the work I produce. 
Let's just hope I don't fail miserably within the first month like all of my other new years resolutions.
Pink Flower
Another shit old photo.
I promise I'll have something good soon.
Let me know what you think. Feel free to leave constructive criticism.
DO NOT REPOST UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!
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Lakeside Tree
This is such a shit photo. Forgive me for not posting anything and then coming out with this.
Don't kill me.
Let me know what you think. Feel free to leave constructive criticism.
DO BOT REPOST UNDER ANY CIRCUMATANCES!!!
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Hey Guys!

I have a quick story time of how I nearly died today. Now I'm a really clumsy and idiotic person so I have a lot of near death experiences but for once it wasn't my fault cause today I got a firework thrown at me. Yup...You read that right. I literally got a firework thrown at me.
On the way home some idiots from my school decided to throw a fire work or something else explosive across the road and it exploded literally an arms length in front of me and my friends.
I just heard the bang and thought it was a gun and then I saw the explosion and realized that it was a fucking firework. It scared the shit out of me! It was so fucking close to us it could have easily hit one of us.
Lord knows why they have fireworks in school or how they got them but I could have fucking died. You have your phones, your computers, your x boxes and playstations but you decide to play with a firework.
Who knows, they could have just been fucking around with them cause they're idiotic teenage boys or they could have been trying to kill us cause that shit came close. You never know.
My school is just such a lovely, friendly place to be. I'm so glad I chose to go there.

To add to this already amazing day I also discovered that I might have a stalker which is just fucking great.
While me and my friends were still recovering from nearly being killed by a firework, we decided to walk (I'm not gonna say her real name so I'm just gonna call her Molly) home like we do most days. But today some kids in her neighborhood were hanging about and as we walked by started shouting my name.
Now I don't remember ever meeting any of them before so I have no idea how the fuck they know what my name is. Me and my friends tried to ignore them as we walked past but they kept shouting after us so after a while I turned around and said hi to shut them up, before walking away.
We said bye to Molly and dropped her off at her house. Now the only problem was that me and (Let's call her Lola) had to walk back up the road and past the kids again.
Great...Just fucking great.
Me and Lola walked on the other side of the road and prayed that they wouldn't notice us. But no...Of course they did. They started shouting at me again but this time me and Lola just walked past as fast as we could, ignoring them as best we could.
And to put the icing on the cake as we were walking away we heard them saying that we were sexy which is just fucking creepy considering they somehow know my name when I don't remember ever seeing them before in my life.
So today's been a fucking amazing day but this is actually quite average for my shit life as I seem to be the unluckiest person ever.
If you want more storytimes like this let me know and I'd be interested to know if you've had any creepy or near death experiences so feel free to leave them in the comments.

That's all for now.
Bye! Evie xx

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ThePhotographyPotato
Evie Clark
Artist | Student | Photography
United Kingdom
I'm just a potato with a love for photography.
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:iconmypeanutgallery:
MYPeanutGallery Featured By Owner 14 hours ago
Magic-winter by KmyGraphic

Thanks for the Fave!
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:iconbermiro:
Bermiro Featured By Owner 1 day ago   Photographer
Many thanks for the +fav   The clouds are coloured by the sunset. by Bermiro        =P (Razz) 
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:iconmakkex:
Makkex Featured By Owner 2 days ago
BoingThanks for the    Fav Rotation
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:iconokavanga:
Okavanga Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Thank you very much for the faves and the Watch, Evie - much appreciated.

Cheers

David
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:icontomheyburn:
TOMHEYBURN Featured By Owner 4 days ago   Traditional Artist
Thx for the fave!
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:iconwayleri:
wayleri Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave! It means a lot to me!Hug
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:iconshasta-the-wolf88:
Shasta-the-Wolf88 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the watch!
Reply
:iconmakkex:
Makkex Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Messenger happy face with smiling eyes emojiThanks for the Favourites  
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:iconanikamarika:
anikamarika Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Heyy thank you for adding me to your watch! Hope you have a great day c: 
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:iconcarrolsmith:
carrolsmith Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2018   Photographer
Thank you very much for DA watch!
Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small Heart black small 
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